New Beginnings

by Cindy Berger

There was a time in my life when I thought I couldn’t go on any longer, and I almost gave up. I was at the bottom of my personal barrel. I’d married an abusive man and at first I gave myself and anyone who cared all the excuses as to why I stayed with him, as do all women in the same situation. Then there came a time when I took a good look at myself in the sunken state that I was in, and I realized that I had to change something fast or I would die on the outside, as well as the inside. I had to get away; there was no other choice to make.

A friend of mine was looking for a roommate because she couldn’t keep up with all the bills. I wasn’t making that much money at the time with the job I had, so it was a perfect solution for us both. I left my abusive husband and moved into her place—my new place, and though it was small, with my own room. It took me a while to work through what I had endured over the years, but finally I came to peace with myself. My friend moved out and I bought the place from her. It wasn’t much, but it was mine. This was my second beginning.

Some time passed and my grandson was born. His birth made me feel alive again. It actually made me feel like I had a reason to live. My oldest son and his wife were going through bad times. Focused on their own misery, my grandson began to be pushed aside and I took custody of him and raised him myself. He is still with me and probably will be until he’s of age to leave the nest.

I felt I needed to improve myself for him, as well as for myself. I needed a better life. I went on back to school to obtain my high school education and obtain a general equivalency diploma(GED). I didn’t care that I was older than everyone else when I walked into the class. I knew it was something I had to do. That was my third beginning.

My dream has always been to write. I have a million stories I want to share with the world. I was afraid at first that I couldn’t do it, but I made my rough copy of my first story. I didn’t think it was half bad, so I started on another one. Then, I did what most writers do after completing their manuscripts, I started sending out query letters. I’ve received many rejections, but I’m never going to give up. That was my fourth beginning.

Just after I completed the first manuscript, I started getting sick a lot. I went to a few doctors before they realized I had Type II Diabetes. They told me I’d gained too much weight and had to diet and exercise. I signed up at the local gym and started an exercise program. I changed my diet. After five months I’d lost thirty three pounds. I went for blood tests again and the doctor told me the diabetes was under control. I put faith and trust in myself to overcome the disease and won. It’s still risky if I don’t stay on my diet and exercise regularly, but I have another chance to be healthy. That was my fifth beginning.

Ever since I left my ex husband, I’ve experienced new beginnings. Things fall into place for those who wait and work for them. Some days I don’t have much patience, but I convince myself that one day my manuscripts will be accepted, and then I will have another beginning to another life for me.

Cindy won an essay contest from Chapter One. She writes fiction, essays, song lyrics, and poetry. “My hopes are to become a successful author one day and continue my dream of writing.”

Above, New Beginnnings. Gale Franey has been creating digital art, graphics, and web design since 2001. Her digital illustrations are featured in an award winning children’s book. She has worked extensively with refugees and the homeless. It is those immensely rich experiences that have shaped her ideas and influenced her style of art and design, which range from fantasy to complex social issues. Visit her website to see more of her work. (Warning: sound-turns off lower left of the screen; image intense; flash website.)